Life has been a bit more vagina friendly this year. I feel like I finally know what I need to know, but it’s taken me 25 years to get here. So let’s jump straight in there and find out what I wish I’d been taught, shown, whispered to, allowed, told, about this strange body part between my legs.
Things I Wish I’d Been Told About My Vagina.
1. UTI stands for Urinary Tract Infection.
2. A UTI is not an STI.
3. A UTI is that feeling you get when you wee and it buuuurns to high heaven. It doesn’t mean your vagina is facing its own Armageddon.
4. Don’t wash your vagina with Radox bubble bath. She can clean herself.
5. Sometimes your vagina will smell, and that’s okay.
6. Don’t invest in buying products to try and make her smell nice. She is always going to smell like a vagina.
7. So don’t spray deodorant down your pants, please.
8. Discharge isn’t gross, it’s normal. Most people with a vagina experience discharge daily.
9. And discharge in your pants is nothing to be embarrassed of. You don’t need to scrunch them up into a tiny ball and hide them at the bottom of the wash basket, so that your Mum doesn’t see.
10. The contraceptive pill is not the only option to protect yourself.
11. You don’t have to shave off all of your pubic hair if you don’t want to. You don’t have to shave at all.
12. Sexual partners are not going to be perturbed or throw you out of bed because you have pubic hair!
13. Sleeping with multiple people is not a crime. It doesn’t make you a terrible person. So erase the word ‘slut’ from your vocabulary.
14. Sleeping with two people does not make you a prude. Or frigid.
15. Ugh! Don’t listen to anyone that uses the word ‘frigid’. Everything that comes out of their mouth is most probably rubbish.
16. Look at your vagina. Check to see how she’s doing. Give her a little feel every now and again.
17. Masturbate, for the love of!
18. Female masturbation exists and it is just as important and necessary as male masturbation.
19. You won’t always orgasm during penetrative sex, and that’s okay.
20. “These are the signs and symptoms of all gynaecological cancers (cervical, ovarian, womb. vaginal, vulva).”
21. HPV is the human papillomavirus. The infection can cause cervical cancer, and other cancers too.
22. “The jab you are about to receive is not protecting you against cervical cancer, it is protecting you against HPV.”
23. Men can contract HPV too.
24. “Now I’m going to tell you ALL about HPV, because it’s important.”
25. Newsflash! YOU HAVE A VULVA.
26. Yep, the vulva is different to the vagina. The vulva is what you usually refer to as your vagina. They are separate things! (Mind, blown)
27. “Here is what your reproductive organs look like. This is your cervix. This is your womb. These are your ovaries. This is your vaginal canal. That is your labia.” Etc, etc.
28. Never, ever use Google to look up your gynaecological symptoms.
29. Stop using Google.
30. I SAID STOP!
31. The overly anxious, intrusive thoughts you experience about the health of your ‘bits’ are not just ‘worries’, it’s anxiety.
32. YOU HAVE TWO HOLES!
33. Don’t put petroleum jelly anywhere near your vagina!
34. Use lube, it’s great.
35. Don’t moisturise your flaps.
36. Pull out a front wedgie in public. Who cares!
37. Tampons and pads contain traces of chemicals. They are also bad for the environment. But you know, make up your own mind. It is your period.
38. Some girls are not as privileged as you, they do not have access to sanitary products.
39. Period poverty exists, in this country and world wide.
40. You can donate sanitary products to give to others.
41. Your vagina is not just for sex and the pleasure of someone else.
42. Your vagina is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of.
43. Your vagina is something to be proud of.
44. Lacey, cheap knickers will ultimately give you a rash, sorry. Buy the bigger, cotton ones and just be comfortable.
45. You are sexy.
46. Your vagina is amazing.
47. Your vagina can do sooo much cool stuff.
48. Vaginas are better than penises.
I now know these things at 25, but I would have liked to know them a little sooner than that. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again; knowledge is power. That means that vagina knowledge is like, mega, life-saving, powerful x1000, with icing and a cherry on top, stuff!
Have you got any to add to the list? Tweet me or Instagram me, I want to hear them!
> @GashGossip <